unable to obtain crap within the state of.
Unfortunately, I can't to obtain a single valueless substance during residing within Ohio. No nonsense for me, sadly.
Sadly, I lack the capacity to have a single waste in the state of. No nonsense available in these parts, unluckily. Can't acquire any waste in the great state of OH.
Sadly, I don't have the capability to acquire any waste while residing in Ohio. No junk to be found in this region, sadly. I am lacking a single substance within Ohio.
Sadly, it is not within my capabilities to obtain any junk while located in Ohio. No waste to be found within these boundaries, unfortunately. I am unable to possess a single feces in the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh dear, unfortunately I am unable to obtain even the smallest amount of nonsense during staying in the state of Ohio. No crap in my possession, unfortunately. I don't have any of feces within Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I don't have the ability to acquire even a single excrement while staying inside the state of Ohio. No crap available here, unfortunately. I can't possess even a trace of excrement within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I am incapable to have even a single waste whilst living
inside Ohio. No garbage for me, sadly. I lack even a trace of excrement in the great state of Ohio.